When both my husband and my Mum are asking me why I haven't posted anything recently I realise that it must be far too long since I put anything here. The real reason is that I don't feel I have done anything worth writing about. Yes I have been away on holiday and seen some wonderful things, there are beautiful things growing in the garden, and any number of other lovely things I could mention, but really this isn't that kind of blog. This blog is supposed to be my way of putting down my thoughts, questioning and debating the progress of my practice... and here lies the problem! Just what is it that is holding me back from progressing with my practice?
If the truth be told, it is just over a year since I really felt fully engaged with my work. Is it any coincidence that it is just over a year ago that we bought our first house and started making a proper home? It is such a cliche that the best art comes from misery, and I'd love to disagree but it does seem that dissatisfaction with life leads us to ask questions of ourselves and our situation. With the benefit of hindsight I realise that the project I worked on throughout my MA was a way for me to locate myself during a period of feeling detached from my surroundings. So the question for me now is what is the purpose of my practice? Who is it for? ... and since I have been struggling so much to actually do any work, how do I find the motivation and head-space to focus myself?
So anyway what
have I been doing with all my time? I have spent a lot of time teaching, gardening decorating and generally being at home. All of which (it could be argued) are very creative, and yet I do feel I have been neglecting the thing I am supposed to be doing. I feel a fraud! I don't want to become one of those people that says "yes I really should do some of my own work again but it's years since I did anything and I don't know where to start".
Perhaps the answer is to find a space (mental or physical?) where I can't be distracted. I think set deadlines or projects would help too. Any help or advice on either of these would be gratefully received.
Oh, and for reading to the end of my boring rant, here is a little treat - my holiday photos of Gertrude Jekyl's garden at Lindisfarne Castle, Northumberland (sometimes it can be 'that kind of blog')!
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| An example of authentic recycling - sheds on Holy Island |
Sometimes we should be more insightful with ourselves and realise like you have done that our creativity is a bigger picture and a precious gift, not to be demanded or exhausted. Forget dead lines and projects forget putting out and creating...think!....
ReplyDeletechange what you are reading
change what you are wearing
change what you look at, and the places you go to....thats all... the need to create will flow again and bowl you over with a renewed vigour...it will I promise..
Your pictures are really peaceful and lovely.
Lynn xx
I only recently found you on here so great to see this recent post, I wouldn't beat yourself up, we all have blips and it's understandable that you've actually been busy with a new house, it is very time consuming making home!
ReplyDeleteAll these creative outlets are linked, even if it doesn't feel like it at the time: I think they all feed into each other. Personally I need a project to be working towards to feel really engaged with my 'work' but I also recognise that these other outlets are an important part of me and that there is an ebb and flow to their respective dominance.
ReplyDelete