Unsure again

After a tutorial on Thursday I am feeling even less sure of myself. I had started to think that some of my lines of enquiry were starting to make sense and unite in something quite good - but now I'm not so sure. Why is it that everything that seems so special and personal in my head becomes crass and unintelligent when voiced in public?

Perhaps I am being overly negative but it seemed that everything I am doing came into question without receiving any new great pearls of wisdom. I suppose it is useful to gain the insight of others, if only to realise that urbanites have a very different response to the 'wild' landscape. It seems strange to me that woodland could be seen as threatening.

On the positive side being a student teaches me a lot about being a tutor and reminds me that I must always encourage whenever I have to deliver criticism.

As this was probably my last tutorial until after assessment in January I think I will just have to 'dust myself off and start all over again'.

Another thing about being tutor and student is that my students teach me a lot.  A French exchange student showed me her beautiful embroideries on Friday and explained they were all done from her imagination without any drawings or designs, just working straight onto the fabric. It reminded me that the formulas we teach need to be broken sometimes. There are many ways to get where you are going if you have the courage to take the first steps alone.

Drawing from memory - remembering the way home and remembering Dad's allotment. I didn't look at the paper, just let myself wander around in my memory.

... but is this just another divergent line of inquiry?

HOME

A difficult weekend, spent adjusting to the idea of loosing my childhood home. Mum will be moving out on Thursday and I have been feeling pretty upset at the thought of 'home' not being there anymore. Although I moved away to university 11 years ago and have moved around the country ever since, I have never really felt 'at home' anywhere else. 'Going home' always meant the same thing.

At least thinking about all these ideas has made me realise the root of my current creative practice. A sense of place for me is also about a sense of belonging or situatedness. Feeling right in an environment is about familiarity - the right smells, light and space. I suppose being 'home' is also about hearing the garden gate creak and bang in a certain way, the smell of real tomatoes...

I came across a copy of Grandma's tea loaf recipe in her cupboard while I was staying at the weekend. She wrote me a recipe book when I was younger but I haven't been able to find it for a while so this was a great discovery. A little taste from my childhood when Mum used to make this for Sunday tea.

I also collected some plant material from Mum's garden; hydrangea petals, hawthorn leaves, tomato stalks and a few hornbeam leaves, all plants I associate with the garden. I wrapped them in some worsted wool fabric to bring back to Yorkshire as a souvenir.

I would be interested to hear what home means to other people - Where is home to you? What reminds you of home when you are away? What makes you feel 'at home'?

Manchester artists book fair

There will be an artists book fair at Manchester Metropolitan University next weekend. Please look at the link for more details.

Nests for Beavers

A truly wonderful day today despite nothing at all going to plan. I was due to go to Manchester today for a tutorial but the trains were not running so after waiting 90 minutes at the station I decided I could make better use of the Autumn sunshine. And I am so glad I did...

After trekking to Hirst Wood I had a look at how my 'nest' had survived. I was pleased to see it was fairly unchanged and managed to get some better photos (see below).

I had just started work on rigging up a washing line between two of the tall beech trees when a big group of Beaver Scouts appeared and set up their games nearby. It was lovely to see the children enjoying the woods and after a while one of the leaders came to find out what I was doing. I suggested that if they wanted the children could investigate and play in the nest. So then the leaders managed to get all of the Beavers inside the nest (27 I think). I wish I could have taken a photo, but child protection being what it is, I didn't dare ask. The kids obviously loved interacting with the structure and asked me lots of questions. Then they all wanted to make their own nest, and set about doing it. IT WAS AMAZING!

I had forgotten how fun it is doing activities with children (I used to be a Brownie leader), and I really enjoyed their enthusiasm, inquisitiveness and willingness to have a go. None of the children asked why I had made a nest - I think it wouldn't cross their minds that you needed a reason. I love the fact that children see experimentation and play as natural activities that do not require justification. I think as adults we could learn a lot from that.

Above is the nest the Beavers made, which is by far bigger and better than the one John & I made earlier in the week. Well done to you all, excellent team work!

After the children had gone I did a lot of reflecting on the experience. It made me realise that I can find satisfaction in sharing my practice with other people in different ways. The children were so enthusiastic and non-judgemental, it was a pleasure to discuss my work with them. I think I would like to consider doing arts projects with children as a way of developing a sustainable practice.

Lastly from pinning up my fabric in the woodland I realised that the silk fabrics become transparent in the daylight. Viewing the trees and dappled light through the fabric seems to capture sympathetic qualities of woodland. I think there is more to explore here.

    

Thank you very much to Bingley Beavers for sharing a very special time in Hirst Wood. I hope you all had a lovely day.

Nest Building

On Tuesday I spent a few hours with John in Hirst Wood experimenting with making a nest structure.

I don't think the green wellies give this the right look and it is rather out of focus. But this was an experiment to see if I could create a nest-like structure large enough for me to curl up in - the idea being to create a portrait that describes how I feel about the woodland; protected, at home, etc. I suppose you could say it is like a woodland womb - but I think that sounds a bit weird.

This was a first try, a sketch perhaps, to try the idea out. I would like to work on this until I feel I can put together a fully fledged work.

Artists book fair at Impressions

On Saturday I went to an artist's book fair at Impressions Gallery in Bradford. I wanted to go to one of the talks but it was fully booked. However I was really glad I went along anyway as I had the chance to look at loads of interesting artist's books and art publications and bought a couple that were especially interesting.

Both the books I bought were from Kings Wood in Kent and published by Stour Valley Arts, a commissioning organisation that works with artists in developing projects within the Kings Wood site. I have really enjoyed reading the essays in 'Kings Wood: a context' and this in turn has helped me to understand the context for my own practice. In particular I found Joy Sleeman's use of the term 'woodland art', as a distinct area of practice within Land Art, as helpful in making me feel that my work has a genuine place. I now feel that I can be a part of something distinct.

Prayer flags

Following a comment by Carolann I looked at the website of Gudrun Sjoden, who has a lovely video clip when you enter the site. The rows of prayer flags fluttering in the breeze are quite inspiring. I think I will explore putting more fabrics outside but next time I will need a lot more fabric for it to make any kind of impact in the woodland environment.