Unknown paths

So much to write I don't know where to start. A lot has been happening and it all means I know less than before, which wasn't much.

It's late and I have put off working all day by finding jobs to do or just pottering. I have a feeling that blogging is also counter productive, and not 'the real work' I should be doing. I suppose then the question is what is the real work?

I just came across a lovely blog entry by Spirit Cloth called 'refining the place idea' in which she discusses the marks left on us by place. Seemed somehow apt and in tune with what I had been thinking.

That aside...

After a deeper than usual tutorial on Thursday I left feeling like I was finally starting to look for what I want to do. Having prepared with a mania of mind-mapping and list generating it soon became clear that part of this exercise was limited by the perspective of my starting point; if you don't ask the right question how can you possibly come up with any meaningful answers? So do I need to ask myself more searching, difficult questions? Can I ask useful questions at all, or is it all limited too much by my own narrow perspective?

If I want to get anything meaningful out of my practice and really push myself (which I do) then I need to allow myself to let go of everything I feel comfortable with in my practice; perhaps only holding on to a few things that are truly important to me. The exercise in 'free falling' is scary and I don't know where to start.

There was a great deal of emotional turmoil during my tutorial that is too personal to go into in such a personal arena. However this is clearly at odds with the idea of me exploring my emotional responses through my artwork. I suppose at the root of all this I am not very good at letting things out, that's my problem. (but this might surprise people that know me!)

Sorry, no nice pictures - nothing to show for all my thinking ...